Seen around the net…

  • Anne’s Addictions was mentioned on Teleread Mar 23rd
  • Huntingdawn 1& 2 got some nice mentions on a reader blog. What Kim had to say: “This was a nice, lighthearted read and the opening scene alone, with Pearl being chased through town by every randy canine in town was worth the price of downloading it.” & Another, funny, lighthearted read. I loved Shaun’s feistiness, and the scene involving Rob and Jakov spying on her through her bedroom window, from a tree: Priceless!”
  • I had no clue that Accidentally Were? was nominated in the 2008 Australian Romance Readers Book Awards in the Favourite erotic eBook category until Google Alerts let me know much too late.  It was an instant upper/downer knowing I’d already lost out to the talented Bianca D’Arc.
  • This was another interesting tidbit from Google Alerts: Tea for Three (avail only in eBook, unless I wasn’t told something lol!) has a page at B&N. Possibly some follow through already from the FW / B&N merger?

When I grow up I want to be a romance Heroine.

Have you played that game before? The one where you declare what you want to be when you ‘grow up’ and why.

It’s been years for me, but this morning as I stared in the mirror inspecting my pimplicious face and reflecting on the pain of getting an upper lip wax for the first time in 35+ years yesterday afternoon, I decided I wanted to be a romance heroine when I grow up (or come back in my next life, whatever *shrug*).

You might think “Of course you do, the heroine 9.9 times out of 10 gets the hunky hero and they live happily ever after”, but no, thats not the reason why. I’ve decided I want to be a romance heroine because they don’t seem to have to suffer the indignities of primping quite the same way the rest of us do.

Depending on who you follow on twitter, you might have seen some various comments about the fact that no-one ever pees in romance books…well, the heroines at least. Men often do, although its always a very closed door affair. These couple of random comments (and the one about my best ideas coming from contemplation time on the loo) got me thinking — all our lovely, perfect, flawed, kick arse, Mary Sue, thin, fat, inbetween, tomboy, barbie girl, mother nature heroines seem to have a void when it comes to primping.

Other than the tomboy to siren plot line, you never see the heroine go get her eyebrows waxed… let alone her upper lip, and you sure dont get to see her eyes glisten with the pain of a little asian lady ripping out bodyhair by the dont-want-to-let-go-roots. (Okay, I might just be harbouring a teensy little bit of angst toward the lovely Ms Lily at my nail salon for the lip wax thing because holycrapmonkeysdamn why didn’t anyone warn me how much that freaking hurts!! Ms Lily really is nice, and she’s a pretty dab hand with a brush and building fake nails for people like me who can’t grow them.)

Which leads to another point… where are the fake nails? And why do they always belong to the evil bitches who want the hero, or want to rule the world, dominating one man at a time and collecting enormous amounts of Baby Daddy monies? It seems all the heroines have perfect nails. No worried to the quick, flaky, hangnail, or overgrown cuticle in sight. What’s up with that??

And as for hair. What, heroines can’t have hair colours of artificial means? ( Kick arse urban fantasy, fantasy and scifi chicks excepted, cause you know elves with pink hair are hawt.) Seriously, I can’t be the only author with hair an unnatural shade of purple or pink (depends on the week, heh 🙂 ), heck even an never-seen-in-nature shade of blonde… And just why-oh-why has colour treated hair become yet another sign of the villianess…or worse, the whore of the story?? But that’s a whole other post.

So yeah, I’ve decided I want to be a romance heroine because they have perfect hair (that glistens/shines/glints/curls softly/wonderfully sleek), perfect brows (no unibrows and stray curlies need apply, and we wont touch on *whispers* ‘down there’… cause frankly, I don’t wanna know), and wonderful strong, perfectly shaped nails. Because frankly, I don’t have none of that.

And I want it.

Really bad.